


What NOT to do in Quarantine: A Guide

by IHaveNoLife (JustBritish)



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, F/F, Hijinks & Shenanigans, IT'S CORONA TIME, M/M, Minecraft, Quarantine, angsty for like two seconds, the bi-s are back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBritish/pseuds/IHaveNoLife
Summary: It's 2020 and Colorado schools have been closed because of the Coronavirus. The kids of South Park just so happen to be one of this year's many unlucky senior classes that will never be returning to school. How do they stave off the boredom? How are they not killing each other? And why is it that Cartman always has to be the radical with controversial opinions?So this is my way of getting out my frustrations as a senior. Everything that happens in this story is based on my personal experiences during this nice coronacation. So, the characters in this story are not mine, but you bet your ass that the story is 100% me, created by the mass hysteria that is currently plaguing my friends and me.
Relationships: Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, right off the bat, there's a political debate almost immediately. Cartman v literally everybody else. This is a debate that is almost word for word what occurred in a group discussion, caused by the president of the Young Republicans club at my school. This is not me stereotyping or anything, just giving you context as to why this person may think the things that they do. 
> 
> These boys may be very OOC, but that is because this is my interpretation of how they may act when they grow up and are finishing high school. Some things may not make sense and some things may make perfect sense. For anybody who has is an IB school, I am making the school they go to an IB school (in this story, South Park has been gentrified and turned into a medium suburban town like the one I live in). Because this is based on my personal experiences, I am making this fairly close to my actual life, just in a different setting with different people so you never find out who I am.

School was out for South Park High, but graduation was far in the future. The governor of Colorado sent out the Stay-At-Home mandate for all non-essential businesses. School systems were included in the order due to the large amount of people that would be gathered at one time. The senior class of South Park was absolutely thrilled, especially with their new living conditions.

“Mom, Dad, I’m heading to Craig’s!” an 18-year-old Tweek Tweak shouted from his front door. A black duffel bag hung over his shoulders. His hair was just slightly more manageable and his twitches became more frequent as he grew older. 

His parents had arranged for Tweek to stay at his long-time boyfriend’s house during the pandemic. You see, the Tweaks’ business could still operate through carryout and delivery, but they would come into contact with various people and they didn’t want to accidentally give their son the dreaded virus. He promised to visit every weekend unless they told him to stay away, so they would still see each other, if only less frequently. 

“Have fun, sweetheart!” 

With his mother’s farewell, Tweek rushed to his car. Initially, he was reluctant to start driving because of his anxiety and twitchy nature. His parents consistently tried to convince him that learning to drive was important, but it was actually Craig’s dad who came up with the idea of Tweek learning to drive stick. While still unsure, Tweek found that driving a manual car was easier than driving automatic because it gave him less time to think about other things. He had to change gears and worry about the clutch and felt so relaxed not having to worry about anything other than driving. After many lessons from Thomas Tucker, his parents committed to buying him a manual transmission Honda Civic and he loved it. Others may think it stupid or childish, but he named the car Samantha after seeing Frozen 2 with Craig and the gang. Enough about the car.

Tweek drove down the desolate suburban streets. Normally there were children playing in yards and street hockey going on that one would need to watch out for. Now, everyone was inside. The blond boy caught a glimpse of Stan walking over to Kyle’s house with a paper bag in hand and a bandana over his nose. It was decided that Stan, being Kyle’s best friend and the only young adult that Sheila would trust with her son, would be the only person from their friend group to visit the immunosuppressed senior. Tweek could only imagine how terrifying it would be if Kyle fell ill during this time.

Finally, Tweek pulled into his spot in the Tuckers’ driveway. After almost eight years of dating, the Tucker’s had fully integrated Tweek into the family, and that included having his very own parking spot. The front door was open when he arrived and he could see Craig leaning against the frame, having to hunch slightly due to his height. During high school, all of the boys shot up in height, save for Tweek, Butters, and - surprisingly - Kyle. Tweek and Butters were around 5’6” while Kyle was around 5’8” without the addition of his hair. Though, the curls mellowed out into waves once puberty hit him like a fucking truck. The other boys, namely Craig, Kenny, Stan, and Token, were over 6’1” and that was absolutely unfair if you ask Tweek. Sure, it’s nice having a tree boyfriend, but it makes kissing so difficult.

Tweek was snapped out of whatever jealous high he was in when Craig tapped on his window.

The blond jumped in fright. “Agh! Jesus, Craig!” He only received a huffed laugh from the towering male. 

Leaving the car, he asked, “Can you take my bag in?”

“Sure. Just one?” Craig seemed surprised that his boyfriend packed so light.

“Well, I brought some groceries specifically for us.” He opened the trunk to show his boyfriend two well-loved reusable bags full of snacks. “I figured that we could ration them out and make them last!”

Tweek felt Craig’s arms wrap around his waist before he was lifted up and spun in a circle. While the action would have made him frightened of his boyfriend years ago, the blond had gotten used to it and giggled lightly in response to the shenanigans.

“Okay - ngh! Put me down,” he commanded through his laughter.

After setting him down, Craig picked up the duffle bag and led Tweek - who made sure the car was locked at least three times before following - into the house. Craig let his parents know that Tweek had arrived and, after greeting the adults, the two went up the stairs to Craig’s room where their child was waiting.

Tweek set the two bags down, smiling, before picking up the guinea pig sitting on the blue comforters of the bed. “Hey there, buddy! Did you miss me? I missed you!”

Craig chuckled at his boyfriend’s antics before grabbing his laptop from the desk and sitting down beside the blond.

“Wasn’t Marsh planning a Zoom call in a few minutes?”

Tweek glanced at the alarm clock. “Yeah, it’s in two. Want to get - ack - set up?”

Both of their phones chimed with a message from Stan containing the meeting ID and password. Craig logged on to the website and entered in the ID and password. He sat back, leaning against the headboard with the computer in his lap and Tweek nestled against his side. 

Stan let them into the meeting room and the screen lit up with half a dozen other faces. Stan and Kyle were sharing a screen like Craig and Tweek, though they were distinctly less couple-y. Clyde was really close to the screen and Craig wasted no time in making it known. Kenny’s full face was visible with his hood down, though the image was slightly blurry and pixelated because of the used lens. Token was far away from his computer, seemingly returning just as Tweek and Craig tuned in. The last face belonged to one Eric Cartman. The guy hadn’t lost his fat and actually gained weight through the years, so his face took up most of the screen, even at a respectable distance. The chatter was constant and the arguing had already started. 

“Shut the fuck up, Fatass!”

“All I’m saying is that this dumb Chinese virus was made to purge the weak, so if anything, this is all Kahl’s fault.”

“Okay, one,” Stan interrupted, “it’s called the Coronavirus or Covid19. It’s not that hard to call it by the scientific name. And two, the virus was created by the Earth to-”

“Jesus fucking Christ! You guys are hearing this, right? Stan, enough of your hippie bullshit! We know you’re only protecting Kahl because he’s your little butt buddy.”

Craig was having none of the homophobic shit from Cartman that day. “Listen here, douche canoe. This has nothing to do with Kyle and everything to do with the fact that people like you are creating an even worse problem with all of your racist, prejudiced garbage. You all go out for no reason except to try and prove that the virus is a hoax-”

“It is a hoax, asshole!”

“Like I was saying, you try and prove it’s a hoax and put people like Kyle in danger. And the virus wasn’t to single out the weak. It was created to keep humans from harming the planet. It’s a defense mechanism and you better treat it as such before you go and cause some kind of genocide like you always do.” Tweek knew that Craig had maxed out his word count for the day and hoped that the argument would cease before he had to step in.

“Hey, there’s no evidence that the virus is causing hate crimes!”

“Are… Is he serious?” Kyle was looking at Stan in legitimate confusion. “Cartman, there are actual statistics and news stories. What about that one in Texas? There are plenty of stories published by the Washington Post-”

“More like Washington Compost! They’re a biased source! They’re always looking for ways to blame the president. No way am I reading that unreliable garbage, Jewboy.”

“Cartman,” I decided to interject since Craig looked like he really wanted to, “calling it the Chinese virus like you did just now stigmatizes race and adds to the racial prejudice against the Asian-American-”

“No, it doesn’t! It’s criticizing the Chinese government because they’re trying to blame the whole thing on us!”

“Then call it the Chinese Government virus or something, but calling it the Chinese virus is just like calling smallpox the Caucasian or European virus.” Kyle looked ready to end himself just trying to reason with the tub of lard.

“Hey! That’s racist! If there was a place called Caucasia, then it would be fine and I would agree.”

Clyde giggled and the rest of the group couldn’t believe what they were hearing. 

“Senior trip to Caucasia,” Kenny added in.

“Okay, um…” Stan was at a loss for words and Kyle was no longer on-screen. 

“See, calling it the Chinese virus is labeling the source and the wrongdoings of the government.”

“No! It’s literally not!” Kyle could be heard from behind the screen.

“Yes, it is, Kahl! Just because you interpret it wrong doesn’t change that.”

Tweek shook his head slowly as he spoke again. “It’s labeling people. Actual, literal, goddamn people.”

“Ok, then can I call you a colonizer?” It was the first time Token spoke.

“No that’s racist!”

“Ok, then how is what you’re doing any different?”

“Because! I’m just labeling the source! It’s to call out the Chinese government!”

“Then call it the Xi Jinping virus,” Kyle said, still off-screen.

“No, that’s too long!”

Craig answered this time. “It… It’s the same amount of syllables. How is that too long?”

“It just is!”

“Kenny, got any sevens?” Clyde asked.

“No, go fish. Got any nines?”

“The term “Chinese virus” was actually started by the media, so go hate on them! I’m not the problem!”

“No, go fish,” Stan interrupted. “Got any twos?”

“Seriously you guys, you’re the one’s being racist!”

“Damn it, Stan!” Token exclaimed. “Fine, I got three.”

“Hell yes!”

Cartman logged off quickly after, realizing that he was only going to be ignored. Clyde was looking somewhere else on his screen when his background changed.

Craig cleared his throat. “Is that a porn set?”

“Hell yeah it is!” Clyde was beaming. “I’m going to use it for our online classes.”

The boys spent the rest of their zoom meeting just chatting. Butters, Jimmy, and a few of the girls logged on, as well. Token brought up the idea of having a Minecraft Realm together since they hadn’t played together in a while. Everybody readily agreed and those who weren’t in the chat - save Cartman - were informed about the server. They were all fairly excited about seeing how each other played as young adults. 


	2. Day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is kind of lengthy. I got really into the friendship development between Kyle and Tweek, as well as the story behind why Kyle would be more friendly towards Craig's gang in the first place. This is where the angst kicks in, but it's really only for a second before everything goes back to semi-normal.

“Cartman, what the fuck!?” Oh yeah, Cartman somehow wormed his way onto their Minecraft Realm and their discord server. They found that using the discord voice channel was way easier than having to restart zoom calls every 30 minutes. 

Anyway, the Minecraft Realm could only be described as chaotic at absolute best. When everyone spawned in, they noticed that they were pretty close to a village. However, they were spawned in a plains biome in a world with large biomes. Everyone started out in survival with cheats and everything went to shit fairly quickly. Stan and Craig found a cave that looked perfect for a first base. The base was lovingly named “The Hole.” Tweek decided he was going to create his own room near the beds the boys had placed down and called it his “pot farm,” complete with actual clay pots. Kenny made a kidnapping ring and began to collect all of the villagers from the village they spawned next to and put them in The Hole. He managed to relocate every single villager and the game actually recognized the chunk as a village. Clyde wanted to trade with every villager and Token was grinding for diamonds, finding enough to make a full armor set after just an hour. Along with the different end goals, everyone had a different playing style. Kyle, Stan, and Craig are at peak performance when in survival mode. Tweek is the master builder, often switching between survival and creative. He really only went into survival if there was a boss fight. Butters wanted to collect every animal imaginable and made the equivalence of a zoo. Bebe and Wendy spent their time rebuilding the ransacked village and repopulating it with spawned in villagers. Thanks to Kenny’s naming of the first villager he captured “Fuckass Joe” - and then every villager after, just with a different name after “Fuckass” - the girls decided it would only be right to keep the trend going. Soon, they had a full village with Fuckass Kenny, Fuckass Tweek, Fuckass Token, etc. Token was big on mining and getting resources. Clyde was, surprisingly, the redstone engineer. He made sure anyone who went mining brought back stacks of redstone. Jimmy just went along with what everyone else was doing. Cartman, being Cartman, stayed in Creative and would kill Kyle at random. The boys called this “god mode” and decided that enough was enough.

“Token, can you please take away his rights?” Kyle asked, fed up with being killed every few minutes. Good thing Token was smart enough to put “keep inventory” on. 

Token chuckled. “I would be honored. It’s not every day I can just take Cartman’s rights away!”

Cartman was yelling in the background. “No! No, please, you guys. I’m seriously! I’ll stop!”

“Too late, already did it.”

“What!? This is fucking bullshit!”

Everyone gave a sigh of relief when he quit the game and left the voice channel. 

Kenny spoke next. “You guys want to go after the Enderdragon? I found the portal.”

“Hell yeah!” 

“Sure.”

“Oh jeez, a dragon?”

The group armored up and grabbed what they needed in order to slay the dragon. Kyle and Stan both had enchanted swords and water buckets to take care of the Endermen. They also had matching shields, because they were cute like that. Kenny had a super bow that he named “Gun” that was enchanted with flame and other lovely buffs. Craig had a regular bow with stacks of harming and poison arrows. Tweek and Butters had tridents that they had spawned in Creative. Tweek’s was enchanted with channeling, loyalty, and unbreaking and was named “how it feels to chew 5 gum.” Butters was named “nutty buddy butter bars.” These fools had a lot of fun killing their friends with these ludicrously named super tridents. Token had a bow that the blond boys named “milk” before giving it to him, along with a diamond chest plate that he couldn’t take off. Who knew that Tweek was such a convincing liar? Clyde wasn’t on because he had to help his father with chores. 

“Wait, where the hell did you guys go?” Tweek asked, trying to get a location based on Craig’s screen.

“Just teleport, babe.”

“Ugh, fine.” Tweek typed in the command and spawned inside of Craig. “Here I am, boys.”

“Wow, didn’t take Tweek to be the passive-aggressive, sassy type,” Kenny said, voice crackling over the voice channel.

“Oh, he’s not.” Craig was as monotonous as always. “He’s aggressive-aggressive and will steal your toes.”

Stan answered hesitantly. “I can never tell when you’re joking.”

“Ngh- he’s joking. I go for the clavicles.”

“Hmm, I prefer the scapula myself but you do you.” 

There was horrified silence from the other boys until Kyle and Tweek started laughing. An unimpressed sigh came from Craig.

“You two spend way too much time together.”

While it was true that Stan and Kyle were super best friends and Craig was Tweek’s best friend as well as his boyfriend, Kyle and Tweek had started hanging out together at the beginning of freshman year. 

* * *

Stan’s gang was starting to split because of Cartman. Kenny was off hanging with Butters and Stan was still dating Wendy, leaving Kyle by himself in the empty hallways after school. He figured he would just hang out in the library until one of the others either came to get him or he was kicked out. Those plans were quickly foiled by the small twitchy blond running up to him, asking if he wanted to hang out with him and the guys. Clyde and Craig had landed themselves in afterschool detention and Tweek was feeling kind of bored. He told Kyle he had seen the redhead alone and figured he needed a friend, at least for the next hour or so. That hour had sparked a special kind of friendship between the two. Through the rest of the year, if Kyle had had enough of Cartman and wanted to get away from the group, he could chill with Craig’s gang. If Tweek was having a panic attack and Craig wasn’t readily available, Kyle was there, helping him out. The two were nearly inseparable when Kyle wasn’t hanging out with Stan. Tweek’s biggest act of friendship was saving Kyle from Cartman. 

How? Well, it’s quite simple, actually.

Stan, Kenny, and Cartman had noticed that Kyle was hanging around Tweek more than he was them and they were feeling a little miffed. Stan felt jealous, though he didn’t realize it. Kenny was happy that Kyle expanded his friend group, though he was still a little confused as to why it was Tweek. Cartman was enraged. He was angry that his favorite victim wasn’t as close. Everything came to a head on the last day of school. 

“Stan, this is all your fucking fault!” He shouted in anger, “Jewboy is butthurt that you’ve been spending time with Wendy. Fix it!”

“What?” Stan was feeling even more confused because he had broken up with Wendy for good just a few days earlier. “He wouldn’t avoid us because of something like that, would he?”

“Well, obviously it’s because you don’t return his gay little feelings, so go seduce him and get him back here!” Cartman was red in the face, just wanting Kyle back in his grasp. 

Stan left, getting annoyed with Cartman. “Yeah, fine.”

He could hear pieces of the conversation Kyle was having as he drew closer. It sounded like he was discussing homework with Token and offering to tutor Clyde in Algebra. Tweek was standing with Craig’s arm over his shoulder, chattering about the biology project that he and Kyle partnered up for. Stan’s jealousy burned like a wildfire, sparked by the thought of Kyle willingly partnering with anybody but him. Of course, he knew he was being irrational. Kyle had every right to make other friends, but that didn’t mean that he should make friends with Craig and his gang. Stan’s stride faltered when Tweek spotted him.

“Hey, Ky. Someone’s here for you.”

“Hmm?” Kyle turned to face Stan, an easy smile on his face. That smile soon fell into a blank slate, though there were hints of a scowl. “Hey, Stan. What’s up?”

“Oh, uh - we were all going to go to Cartman’s to play video games. Wanna come?”

“No, not really.” His answer was given quickly with no hesitation.

“Umm … okay. Why? What’s so great about these guys anyway?” He knew he was being rude, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Kyle, like Cartman, flushed red in anger. “Are you serious?”

Tweek reached out and gently rested his hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “Kyle, he’s not worth it.” It was the first time Stan had heard Tweek speak without a twitch or stutter.

“But you guys are! Stan, I don’t want to have to put up with Cartman and his shit for the rest of my life. I don’t want to put up with you for the rest of my life. The only time you ever want to hang out is when I ask and you’re not with Wendy! Or when you two break up again and you need someone to pity you!”

“Hey! It’s not like that! I broke up with her last week and we aren’t getting back together, promise.”

“And Cartman?” Kyle sounded less furious, but the anger was still there.

“We can tell him to knock it off! He won’t bother you. We’ll keep him in check.” Stan was hopeful, thinking that this was the answer Kyle needed. Boy was he wrong.

It was Tweek who blew up with a ferocity the others had never seen. He decked Stan right in the mouth, knocking a tooth loose. “I can’t believe you! Do you really think Cartman needs another warning? Another chance? He doesn’t stop, and he will never stop until you do what needs to be done! Until you ditch Cartman for good, until you tell that fatass to go fuck himself, until you realize that Kyle is worth more than giving that fat bitch your attention, you can bet your ass that we will. We will be the friends that he deserves, headass! That is,” he turned to Kyle, any sign of anger completely erased, “if you want us?”

Stan had never seen that kind of blinding smile come from Kyle before. His excited head nodding and the tears streaming down his face were enough to tell Stan that his super best friend was nothing but an acquaintance after that conversation. He stood, blood dripping down his chin. 

“Fine. Have fun, Broflovski.”

Throughout the entire summer, Kyle would tag along for sleepovers, game nights, and the odd camping trip. He fit into their group perfectly. He began to gradually know each boy’s personality better the more he hung out with them. Tweek was sarcastic and spoke his mind, twitching very rarely. He drank tea more than he did coffee, and his favorite hobby was drawing. Craig was actually a really sweet guy. Whenever the gang ran into Stan’s, Craig would make sure Kyle was alright immediately after. When Cartman made any remarks about him or his religion, Craig would make sure Cartman left with bruises. Token was fun to talk to or just sit with. Kyle could sit with the guy and just read in a comfortable silence. Clyde was the best to get food with because, while he did eat a lot, he knew exactly the places to go that were both inexpensive, and healthy. Being one of the few freshmen on the varsity football team, Clyde was concerned about his health more than ever. Kyle couldn’t stand going out with Stan and the others because they always ended up at a McDonalds or somewhere cheap where Kyle could get sick. With Craig and those guys, because of Clyde’s - and now Kyle’s - dietary restrictions, they would eat at a vegetarian grill or salad bar. There was also the occasional milkshake shop or smoothie bar they would go to for a cool treat to combat the summer heat. 

When game night or movie night came, Kyle would always have a say in what they played or watched. If he wasn’t feeling a first-person shooter, they would play Mario Cart or something. They had even played Wii Sports Resort at one point. On movie night, if he didn’t like any of the selections and there was no majority for any one title - which happened quite often, surprisingly - they would watch DuckTales, new and old. They would always have these nights at Token’s house. Token’s parents would let the kids have one alcoholic drink each as long as they weren’t driving and would stay the night. Since none of them even had a drivers license - except maybe Tweek, who would be sleeping over anyways - they all took advantage of the Blacks’ generosity. Kyle’s favorite part about any of these nights wasn’t the alcohol or the competition or even the entertainment. It was the cuddling. 

It happened during the first movie night after he joined. Since Tweek and Craig were dating, Kyle had expected them to snuggle up next to each other on scary movie night. While they did as he predicted, he didn’t expect Clyde to join in on the cuddling session. He pressed his arm against Craig’s, leaning into him. Tweek beckoned Kyle over with a wave and patted the small space between him and the sofa arm. Kyle sat down and went with the motions as Tweek pulled him in to rest his head on the blond’s shoulder. Craig’s hand stroked his hair and Kyle figured he should have felt strange. However, the entire thing felt completely platonic. Then Token came in with a few blankets.

“Alright, Kyle. Since you’re new, I’ll tell you the rules. We are all cuddle buddies now that there’s an uneven number of us. Don’t worry, it’s all platonic.” Yep, got that. “If you have a blanket, you can only be under it if there’s no penis touching ass.”

His mother yelled from the kitchen. “Token!”

“What? Those are the rules! You told me that!”

“Well, don’t say it like that!”

“Fine!” Then, in a quieter voice. “No penis touching ass.” With that, he threw the blankets at the boys on the couch and squished himself into the gap beside Clyde.

Despite the newness of it all, he found himself happier than he had been in a while.

It was a few days before the new school year. Kyle was going on a jog alone. He had a few more hours before meeting up with the gang for lunch, so he wanted to get some exercise in while it was still cool outside. His route takes him through the neighborhood, past the elementary school, around Stark’s Pond, and back. He got just past the school before he saw the person he least wanted to: Stan Marsh. After the fallout freshman year, the two hadn’t spoken. Kyle was kept far away from Cartman. Kenny sometimes joined them for lunch or something, becoming a close friend - at least, closer than before. Stan was nowhere to be seen unless he was in a group with Cartman and Kenny, the former always trying to get a rise out of Craig’s gang when they passed by. 

Stan was sitting on a bench, looking around for something - or someone. His eyes widened when he saw Kyle. “Hey, Kyle!”

The redhead jogged past, saying, “What happened to ‘Broflovski?’” 

“I’m sorry, okay?” He shouted, making Kyle stop. “Tweek was right.  _ You _ were right. We kept giving Cartman chances, but …”

“You realized he didn’t deserve them,” Kyle finished, finally turning to look at Stan.

The boy was a mess. With his hat off, Kyle could see his messy, unbrushed hair. He had bags under his bloodshot eyes. There were old stains on his shirt that suspiciously looked like alcohol.

“You didn’t deserve to be treated like you were. We pushed you away.”

“‘We?’” Kyle’s eyebrow raised, expecting more.

Stan sighed. “I pushed you away. You were right. I was using you to get sympathy.” He squared his shoulders. “I don’t want to use you, anymore.”

Kyle stood, frozen, as Stan crept towards him. “We ditched him. Cartman isn’t in the group anymore. The more I thought about it, the more I hated myself for letting him get away with all those things he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of it.” He took a breath. “You don’t have to come back. You can do what you want - hang out with who you want. I just want you to forgive me.”

“Stan…” Kyle was shocked at the turnaround, but he supposed that Stan wasn’t his former best friend for nothing. “Of course I’ll forgive you. And maybe I don’t want to choose friend groups. Come to lunch and meet the guys! We can all be friends.”

Stan had a few tears dripping down his cheeks. “I’d love to.” 

Kyle flinched as Stan embraced him. After the shock wore off, Kyle gladly hugged back.

“Go home and clean up. I’ll pick you up after my jog.”

“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few things:  
> 1\. The "Fuckass Joe" thing was me. I did that. Not the kidnapping ring, but I did name them. Tweek plays like I do.  
> 2\. So, Cartman is really only around because he blackmails the others. More on that later.  
> 3\. What Token was saying about the blankets? Real thing that happened and my God was it entertaining.  
> 4\. The "cuddle buddy" system is a real thing and if you haven't tried it, why not?  
> 5\. I love the idea of Tweek and Kyle being sassy together! Does anyone else?  
> 6\. Are there any other characters that you guys think should be added? Scott Malkinson, Ike, and the girls will all make appearances, but are there any others?


End file.
